I Find This…

“When you are content to be simply yourself and don’t compare or compete, everyone will respect you.”

-Lau Tzu

I find this to be a very hard balance to strike. It’s easy to get caught up in the rat race and compare yourself to ‘famous’ people on social media, or even friends or acquaintances who have accomplished something you wish you could do.

There are two important nuances to consider however. One is that if you wish you could do what that person is doing, it is likely only you who is holding yourself back by wishing and not doing. Last week’s post about making decisions and acting tie into this directly. If you want to learn a new skill or improve within your current domain, you can… you just need to do more, stick with it longer, or get some help to coach you along.

The other nuance here is that when you find yourself comparing, ask yourself if you truly even want to be like that person… If you think you’re feeling envious of their capabilities you need to sit and think about what they have had to lose in order to make strides in their field. Sometimes what we interpret as envy initially is actually simply admiration; when we admire someone for the hard work they’ve done and the goals they’ve accomplished, we can find a certain nourishment within ourselves by admiring them whereas an envious view implies we want to also take what they have.

The difference between admiration and envy is slight, but when you can understand the difference and notice when envy takes over admiration, you can reframe your mindset, compare yourself less, and be happy for others and support them, which in turn will garner you support in your endeavors as well.